If it’s a home cooked meal, Yes!

What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on a meal? Was it worth it?

But are money spent on outside foods worth it?

It may be a yes and it maybe a no because when you spent it on clean food that nourishes your body in and out is totally worth every penny which is rare because no one actually gives a sh*t about your health. In a world where good is expensive and bad is absolutely totally free, your health surely comes with a cost of so much more than just money but here’s the thing as an indian I feel, we lower middle class people really are left with no choice of “health” when eating outside and then there are people still paying in hundreds if not thousands everyday on “food” that’s actually killing them faster than they realise. It’s insane. Personally eating outside never helped me except for making my money disappear within minutes.

I have freckles though

How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?

Short, medium built girl, with a long hair that I want to style in different ways as much as I want to let it be open. A slightly outrageous high pitched voice that doesn’t like to be suppressed in anyway. I usually do not fall for compliments but when they say my smile looks pretty I blush for days.

I love nature and animals in it, I cannot stop the flood of good emotions when I’m around them. I would love to own a big farmhouse one day. I hate social/family gatherings they stress me out but I can dance all night with the right people but here’s the plot twist I dance like an old chicken. Oh and I hate boastful people. Your good deeds will be noticed and your achievements will be praised, you absolutely donot need to be loud about it.

I am thoughtful, I think too much to the point where it’s called “overthinking“. But I also think I’m progressive because when I look back at my old self I’m  filled with so much gratitude and pride.

I do struggle a lot with things like anger, self love, decision making and my emotion regulation but it’s alright I know when I need to ask for help and when I can manage it on my own.

And lastly if we ever meet, I’ll be shy the first few hours but still will try my best to make you feel comfortable and that’s the part I sometimes dislike about me I care too much.

Thanks for reading, hope you have a wonderful day🍀

The tale of “under expressed” generational trauma

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

Tradition of under expression, these gen X stand so low on the “self expression scale”, they don’t even find it necessary, and that became one of the reason why I struggle with self worth.

No doubt they are awesome parents, selfless providers, givers, lovers(in silent), but they lag when it comes to verbally speaking the heart and I feel sorry they were raised like that, I was raised like this and I wouldn’t want my children(if I ever have) to go through the same struggles I went through with my emotional needs.

I still cannot express to my parents because they go total hysteric mode whenever I try to share something that’s bothering me, and it makes the situation far worse.

So it’s just me now trying to figure out ways to communicate with them without loosing my sanity.

Oh! and did I forget to mention I love them and I donot blame them?

Is today typical!?

Was today typical?

No way!

Made the mistake of eating late again and the extra spice cost me my sleep, woke up to a very bad acid reflux, didn’t had the proper medication for the pain relief, went to turn on the lights kicked the glass bottle so hard it shattered into pieces, and the irony I’m a doctor 🤦🏻‍♀️ now cleaning up the mess at 3 in the morning, while sipping cold water, and also I have to be somewhere in the morning..Ta da! Life’s interesting lately.

What bothers you and why?

The political future of this nation(India) if it keeps on going the way it is..I’m afraid we are getting nowhere. They speak about how India is such a great nation how it’s thriving and whole bunch of stuffs which can surely give you a temporary sense of pride. But when you look closely you see so many loopholes and I’m not saying it’s a one nation problem. It’s everywhere I agree but here it’s a bit personal..politicians trying to divide the nation in terms of race,language,caste, religion,gender and what not.. brainwashing their supporters in every way possible.Aren’t they trying to uproot the very foundation of this nation “unity in diversity”? it hurts. I have never been a die hard patriot myself but I know even a “not so national” person can tell you this isn’t the way to run a country.

Musings

Have you ever been so intrigued by a random click?

The dusky summer skies
Clouds dyed in the sunset highlights,
Birds returning to their families, alive,
While distant, blurry lights shimmer with pride.
As the cool breeze runs through my auburn hair,
I smile, embraced by the arms that care,
Wrapped around the one thing that truly matters.
The hope, of holding you again,
With the hands that tremble.
yet would move mountains for you any day.

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